it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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