I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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