i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
