ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i barfeds in our rink
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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