i would punch a child for taco bell
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
