i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It's rum buckets o'clock
Randomize
