road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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