Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize