it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
