Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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