glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
