You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I could fuck to npr.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
