i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
