Non-Jews are for practice
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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