OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
as a side note pls kill me
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize