Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
