I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
is wine microwaveable?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
