Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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