...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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