Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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