he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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