Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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