If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
