So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
