Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
