im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
you are never too drunk for berry picking
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
