Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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