Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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