he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
