How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
