What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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