you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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