This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize