well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
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So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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