I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It was a blind-side dick pic.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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