I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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