32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I currently don't understand fingers.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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