In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
