I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
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