What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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