how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Randomize
