I will die if light touches me.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
