Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
