Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
