I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
