brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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