dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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