DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
