Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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