First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
