Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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