Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
