Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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