I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
