my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
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