Is it normal to miss your booty call?
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
