I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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