am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
